Sleepless

Every night, you and I would have our long hours of conversations. Conversations that I always look forward to at the end of my routinary day. Conversations that make me understand more about the complexities of life. Conversations that make me know you more, that make me love you more than I did the night before.

 Most of the times I find it easy to understand you, but there are also times when I cannot comprehend what you are saying. Sometimes you seem to be so sweet, sometimes you torture me.  I have grown to get used to that love-hate relationship of ours. But I always make sure not to let the night pass having a misunderstanding with you. It may take a lot of time and energy from me in making sure that we are good, but it’s definitely worth it.

It is true that some get my attention, too. There are times when my heart gets weak and just want to give up on us. But you have to understand, I am not that perfect. I just want you to be patient with me same as I am with you. You just have to remember that it’s you whom I’ll always go back to. You are my life now and I can’t afford to lose you.

You are the reason for my sleepless nights. You are all I think about now. I love you and nothing will ever change that.

*Love letter to my Medical textbooks. 

Of rain and love songs

Mojofly’s Tumatakbo seems appropriate to be my life’s theme song for the moment. While most of my batchmates are busy getting married, building families and having children, I am stuck in my own crazy little world called Med School.

Don’t get me wrong, I love where I am now, and I won’t trade it for anything. Maybe I’m just curious, curious about how love works. Believe me or not, but in my 22 years of existence, I have never been inlove and never been in an intimate relationship.  From the books I’ve read and the movies I’ve watched, falling inlove seems to be an easy task. And from what I have observed, all that needs to be done is get to know that other person, find shared interests, exchange flirtations then voila!

What in the formula have I been doing wrong then? You’d probably say that I’m being choosy or I’m probably setting a little too high of a standard, but I’m not. It’s just that, I haven’t really felt it. Or have I? I don’t know. How does it feel to fall inlove anyway? Are the slow motions real? How about the “magical silence” and the “fast forward”? How do you know that that moment is already falling in love? Will you actually even know?

Too many questions. And I doubt I will be getting answers anytime sooner.  I should probably just go back to reading Snell and Guyton. Besides, I don’t think I will be having extra time to go searching for someone to fall inlove with anyway.